I would also like to admit how grand it is to take a few days away from the nonsense that is theatre life. It's nice to not have people talking about theatre stuff they don't really understand. Nice.

broken bones...and bloody kisses

Man, I've been trying to get lines intuitive for what seems like days(mainly because it has been days). I mean, it seems like I got them and i'm doing all the drills, and then wham the next time I pull them up, they're just gone. I can't believe it. I'm trying pretty hard to get them down, but some of them just don't seem to stick. I don't get it. Lines have been about the only thing I've done this spring break. Pretty sad, I know, but I guess this will be something I laugh and talk about on Biography. Hmmm.

It seems my amazing ability to "turn it on" when it counts has finally met it's rival.

My newly discovered ability to "TURN IT OFF" has emerged as the leader of my preforming styles.

This week has been a complete and utter failure. This has quite possibly been the worst 5 days of this semester. People may call it excuses, or what have you and I know all of this is my fault due to my inability to say 'NO' to upcoming oppurtunities, but there is just a time when you hit the wall and there is nothing you can do about it. This is my time. Coming off of the sucessfull yet personaly trying and extremely stressful HAMLETMACHINE left me completely drained of all ability to be me. This coupled with the daily nausea of Dept. politics/my lack of tolerence for peer-stupidity left me completely drained, and sadly, void of creativity. Now don't get me wrong, this usually doesn't last long and I can bounce back like Lee Harvey Oswald's bullets, but I just need a minute or two to myself. Of course i was not given that minute and so I therefore brought all that stress/anger into this week with me.
I don't know how long I worked on lines this week. I have no idea how many hours I hammered away at them. I get to rehersal, and they're gone. I choke. I have nothing. This has never happened to me before. I really don't know how to take this newly discovered sense of failure. It seems that my superiors sense my shortcomings and that only applies more stress for success which cannot be achieved during this state of mind. I have it all together untill it comes crashing down. I need this break more than anything. I need to sleep. I need to rest. I will come back better than ever, and I will make a difference...or die trying.

I wanna kill everyone
Satan's my pal
Satan's my pal